Shannon has lots of plans for her Saturday, and one of them, Doesn't include going to Grandma's house. On the other hand, Dad's really into it, and tries to get his daughter to understand the importance of visiting Grandma, and to appreciate her, while she's still around.
Shannon: Oh Daaaaaaad!...Do we have to go to Grandma's house? I don't know what makes you think going to Grandma's house is so much fun, you get up early and polish the car like we're going someplace cool, like the beach..Is it just me, or does her house smell like an old antique store couch...Yuk! And besides that, I'm the one she latches onto, to listen to all her old stories...well, I'm sorry if I can't appreciate her "WISDOM" right now...and Dad, let's face it, even you can admit the lady's a little bit crazy. One day I was going into the kitchen to get myself a drink and I heard her talking to somebody, I didn't want to disturb her, so I was really quiet. She was asking Grandpa how much salt he'd like in the stew,.....and he's been dead for ten years! I mean, come on! And another thing, I'm sorry, but her cooking is awful too...and OH!...OH!...and what was that disgusting stuff she made us last time for supper...BOILED OKRA?...That's just wrong! It felt like a hairy clam going down my throat. It took me three or four sips of Coke after each bite to get it down, and stay down....eeeeew I can still taste it! Dad can't we just skip this visit? I mean, Christmas is only four months away. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if we just called her.....Pleeease!
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Faith works at McDonald's. She is having the day from hell. She has been pestered twice by the same customer. When the customer complains a third time, Faith loses it.
Faith: Ma'am, I replaced the first burger free cause it "didn't taste right" to you. And the second burger cause you said it wasn't cooked enough. Now you're telling me that this burger is burnt?! You have got to be kidding me. Where do you think you are. This is McDonald's! We ain't serving no sirloin steak! $5.25 an hour and I gotta put up with the likes of you. I'll tell you what. Why don't you come back here, take my greasy apron and my stupid hat, and stand back here in 128 degree temperature and cook your own burger til you're satisfied. Oh, and hey, don't forgot you gotta smile nice for all the customers while you're sweating to death and the French Fry boys are whispering perverted jokes!! No? Doesn't sound like a good old time to you? Well then, I highly suggest you take that burger back to your little table, eat it, and think about how lucky you are that I didn't smush an apple pie in your face. Have I made myself clear? Thank you. Have a nice day.
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"Confused Teen" (Teen Monologue, Female) *Humorous*
Both Angie and Harmony are in their early teens. Angie's going
through some physical changes, inside and out, and like any other good teenager,
can't associate these changes with life's little obstacles.
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Angie: What's going on Harmony? I don't get it, why is it when
you become a teenager everything gets so confusing? I mean, what are they doing,
spiking the make-up? Is there some unwritten law that when you become a teenager
you move into the realm of insanity? If I remember correctly, that's about the
time everything started getting nutty. Think about it...I'm supposed to wash my
face BEFORE I exercise to prevent build-up. No, I'm supposed to wash my face
AFTER I exercise to prevent break-outs. I'm NOT SUPPOSED to eat chocolate
because it causes pimples. Wait, I'm SUPPOSED to eat chocolate before I take a
test, because it's great, "brain food." I'm SUPPOSED to have lots of foods hat
are rich in iron to help my circulation. Hold on, now, I'm NOT SUPPOSED to have
a lot of iron because it prevents my body from absorbing calcium properly. Wow,
if I can survive being a confused teenager, I think I can pretty much survive
anything! (Change of heart) Let's get out of here, I'm hungry!
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Wheres the first monologue. Like what play is it from?
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